Joe Waters

Top 12 Funny Christmas Quotes. Enjoy These Humorous Christmas Quotes!



Posted: Sunday, November 18, 2007

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I have gathered a list of Funny Christmas Quotes to help you cope with this holiday season.  Yes, we all love the holidays...but sometimes they can make us want to scream!

In order to truly enjoy this holiday season it is important for you to keep smiling and laughing.  After all, the Christmas season is meant to be enjoyed. 

So, here is a list of twelve of the funniest Christmas quotes to help you cope with, I mean enjoy, the twelve days of Christmas. 

Enjoy these wonderful Christmas quotes and have a happy holiday season!

Top 12 List Of Funny Christmas Quotes


Humorous Christmas Quotes #1
   

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.         
Bernard Manning

Humorous Christmas Quotes #2   

Christmas is a time when you get homesick - even when you're home.           

Carol Nelson


Humorous Christmas Quotes #3
   

Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money.            

Author Unknown


Humorous Christmas Quotes #4
   

Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.        

Author Unknown


Humorous Christmas Quotes #5
   

There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime.  Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them.          

P.J. O'Rourke

Humorous Christmas Quotes #6   

Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your feet.        

Author Unknown


Humorous Christmas Quotes #7
   

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.           

Erma Bombeck

Humorous Christmas Quotes #8   

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C.  This wasn't for any religious reasons.  They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.            

Jay Leno


Humorous Christmas Quotes #9
   

Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money.             

Author Unknown


Humorous Christmas Quotes #10
   

Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music.           

Tom Sims


Humorous Christmas Quotes #11
   

Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.           

P.J. O'Rourke

Humorous Christmas Quotes #12   

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.             
Kin Hubbard


I hope you've enjoyed this Top 12 List of Funny Christmas Quotes.

If you loved these Funny Christmas Quotes and want to find more famous and inspirational quotes and quotations...visit us today.

About The Author


For more amazing quotes about Christmas, check out the holiday quotes section of Inspirational-Quotes-And-Quotations.com, a website that specializes in 'Top 10' lists of inspirational quotes (in hundreds of categories).

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Top-level comments on this article: (10 total)
» left by Anonymous
4 years 53 days ago.
I beg your pardon! I wrap Christmas presents quite nicely, thank you very much! LOL! Enjoyable collection, Joe!
» left by Dave Tanguay
4 years 53 days ago.
Enjoyed reading these quotes. I believe no. 8 by Jay Leno is my favorite. "thanks for sharing"
» left by Anonymous
4 years 48 days ago.
wow those are all soo true! i liked them all.
» left by Sally Smith
from Canterbury Kent
4 years 47 days ago.
Useful quotes, very topical. Thank you!
» left by Anonymous
4 years 47 days ago.
Joe, Humor often hits home with a tickle, or truth wihout the lecture. As an ex-baller (before, during, after school, b-ball summer camps, etc.) I applaud your effort. Jeff
» left by Ronyae
3 years 45 days ago.
92 fans. Follow Ronyae on twitter!
Joe,
 
Quite entertaining...thanks for sharing and giving smiles for this Season! Happy Holidays
» left by Mogama
2 years 53 days ago.
118 fans. Follow Mogama on twitter!
I really like the quotes, Joe. ~mogama~
» left by Dianne Lehmann
1 year 90 days ago.
134 fans.
Hi Joe.

Thanks for the chuckles!

Hugs,

Dianne
» left by Lance Travis
1 year 58 days ago.
Here's my Holiday quote: When life gives you lemons put them in a box with a friut cake and re-gift them! by Lance Travis
» left by kinjal p 107 days 11 hours ago.
hey,

i really like this quotes

can u plz make other quote like this and send me on my e-mail.

thank u
» left by anand from india 1 year 42 days ago.
i love x-mas
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